Life Perspectives-

I'm laying here on the couch, with Layla right beside me, post surgery stink and all; yet I can't help the warm overwhelming feeling I have of gratefulness for God opening doors today. 

Today I was faced with a difficult decision that I truly hope I never face again. Layla our puppy swallowed a large rock which cut into her intestines creating major problems and creating the need for an emergency surgery today. 

Well, I was faced with the decision of going forward with surgery that we truly couldn't afford and still can't or putting her down because she wouldn't make it much longer untreated. My heart never had a decision to make, putting her down would never be an option but my head says "if you do this surgery can you afford to buy groceries next week?" $1500 is a lot of money for essentially one income. BUT God opened a door to allow us to make payments and even though we can't really afford the payments, I couldn't really afford to loose Layla. 

Layla is so much more to me than a puppy or dog. She is my best friend, the best cuddler, she always knows when I need some love, or if something is wrong and she accepts me for who I am and loves me as such. ❤️ 

So tonight say a prayer please for my Layla and me as we tough it out together tonight. She has to go back to the vet tomorrow all day for fluids and then hopefully she will be home for good. Pray that she heals quickly, that this doesn't happen again, that financially some new doors open, and that this whole experience only brings my family closer. 

It truly is amazing when you put things into perspective, I only wish I could learn to relax a little more and trust that in every situation God always has control. He knows how much Layla means to me,  and helped us bring her home. Sometimes I feel silly because of how worked up I get over Layla emotionally, but at the end of the day, she is family; and you fight for family. Talk about learning a new perspective. 

Thank you for all the prayers and please continue. 

Let's talk about SEX baby ;)

So with the new movie trailer of "Fifty Shades of Grey" that came out today, it got me thinking about how well your sex life really is... us women so quickly get wrapped up in the mystery of "Christian Grey" but do we still get wrapped up in our husbands?



Now, don't worry I this blog is solely rhetorical ;) And I will not be sharing specifics about my personal sex life because well, that's for me and Calvin... I will say I have no complaints :)

It seems so easy when you first start out to date, that romance level is so high... that gaze from your partner can  make you melt with out even being touched. But when you are touched, that warm embrace of a hug, or the soft kiss from a long day apart--- makes your toes curl and your tummy flutter. The desire to have sex in the beginning is so high, that's the easy part. But how do you keep that spark alive?

How do you make time for intimacy with your spouse when you both work full time jobs, you may go to school on top of that, what if you have a child, multiple children.. or what if you just haven't felt that spark to try?

Well-- the answer is YOU have to MAKE time. 1 Corinthians 7:3 says "The Husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's sexual needs." How do we do that exactly? We need to take time to understand how to meet each other's needs. Of course that seems simple, but in most cases it's not. Men in general tend to be more focused on the physical aspects of things: the seeing, the touching, the feeling. Where as women tend to be more focused on the emotional aspect of things: feeling loved, cared for, and feeling appreciated.

Be silly and don't take everything so serious!

It's easy for sex especially for us women to get put on the back burner; after all once we have kids our minds no longer tick about ourselves only- we worry about our kids, our husbands, our house, cooking dinner, laundry, our pets, and the million things we volunteered to do knowing we don't have enough time in the day. BUT whether you choose to believe it or not, sex plays a huge part in a marriage. It can even break a marriage if put off too long. So with that, if you love your spouse take the time to find out what makes them tick again, put some effort into it, and most of all have some fun!! It shouldn't matter whether you are 20 or 80 years old, incorporating fun into your sexual life should be natural.

Ladies stop using the "headache, tummy ache, I'm tired", routine. Stop being confined to the same position every single time, and stop limiting your spouse to once a month. Strive for once a week, and make it important. If you're already at once a week-- strive for 2-3x a week.

I've seen far too many women talk about how after they have split with their spouse they "wish" they would have put forth more effort, etc... why wait-- why not start today? I know this is a topic that a lot of people are embarrassed about, but realistically it's natural, normal, and something that needs to be important in our relationships.

Throughout my blogs, I will be sharing some of the devotions that Calvin and I are doing- mainly the ones that hit home for us. <3

8 years together, 5 years married and he still has my heart <3 

Goal for today- well most likely tomorrow since it's almost midnight-- make your spouse remember that spark if you've lost it, go on a date, build up to a hot night alone... NO EXCUSES! Find the time, make it happen. :)

With love,
Me

Love Yourself... :)

Hello all!

It's been a bit since my last blog-- I keep saying I'm going to get better at this and write every day to become in a habit. I'll be doing something or reading something and say "this would be awesome to blog about.." then those thoughts just ponder away somewhere in mommy brain and I don't remember..

Regardless, let me start by saying I, Heather Edmunds LOVE myself. Those of you that know me well, know how hard I've worked to get to this place, but you only live once right? So WHY should I worry about all the things I can't change? Much easier said than done, right? Two years ago, this blog would have never been written, heck 2 months ago it wouldn't have happened.. BUT the closer I walk with God the more I come to terms with that he made me and if he is proud and loves me there is no logical reason why I shouldn't love myself.

I work hard, I take care of my family, I take care of myself, and I'm learning to STOP obsessing about what I eat, drink, or look like. Quite frankly I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life, and even if I'm never as "skinny" as the girl in those magazines we all admire-- guess what I'm okay with that. My husband doesn't seem to mind a little curve. I know I do my best, while staying happy and that's all the matters. I'm learning that if I want to drink a soda or eat a slice of cake, or heck both at the same time-- life will still be okay. I'll just work out twice as hard. ;) Regardless, all my life I have lived in the jail of me, never pretty enough, never thin enough, never GOOD enough... but ya know what?! I'm free, because God allowed me to be.

If only we could all live as carefree as this cutie! 

Yes, I have been on anti-depressants for the last year, because it was a damn hard year--- but I'm one month away from saying GOOD-BYE to that chapter of my life and I feel better than ever. What I've learned is that as humans, we are all prone to make mistakes, we are all prone to be hard on ourselves, and never feel up to our own standards--- but when we become prisoners to ourselves and are never able to fully live life, then what are we truly living for? Is my life perfect right now? NOPE, but honestly it never will be, I'm just better at dealing now. I am blessed beyond belief at the things I do have though, an amazing husband (most of the time ;), a remarkable little boy, a fur-baby who has truly helped me more than anything, a house I call a home, a dependable car that gets me where I need to go, and all the essentials in life.

In God I have my HOPE and HE is my anchor. <3 

So if you are reading this right now, and you aren't truly happy with yourself- ask WHY? Because let me tell you, in December I weighed 104lbs and was very thin, but you know what I still wasn't "happy" I longed to still be smaller, nothing was good enough, the woman I saw in the mirror still embarrassed me no matter how many compliments I got. Now, I'm at 115lbs and no I'm not as thin but I'm HAPPY. No, I don't have abs of steel, or a flat stomach, but I'm okay with working on it. I'm content with the way I look now, I'm content with the progress I'm making working out; and of course I'll always strive to be better, but the difference is, I'm not a prisoner to myself anymore. Don't be a prisoner, love your skin, your body, and embrace is because I'm 100% positive that someone else admires you for every aspect about you.

Me, yesterday! #strongmom 

And lastly ladies--- encourage each other! I can't say enough how if I've had a off day how much a simple compliment brings me up. As women we need to feel pretty, valued, and important. Whether it's a quick text, a facebook post, or a call--- the women and friends in your life that matter--- TELL THEM. Empower them the strive even harder, and value themselves more. Real women encourage each other and lift one another up, be a real woman to yourself, and to others! #strongwomenunited

With much love,
Me <3

New Beginnings

So I've posted before about various struggles within my marriage, and how we have had many ups and downs, curves, and obstacles... but that is a marriage. "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer." We have literally climbed through each in this last year.

These obstacles have weighed heavy on our marriage, but we are soldiers and are working through each one. When Calvin and I first started dating, our marriage was heavily washed in our church, our bible, and our faith. Somewhere along the way, we fell off track, and have now realized the missing link is that we stopped relying on our faith to guide us and teach us how to remain open to each other, how to listen, how to speak, and how to be there for each other.

We recently purchased The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman and The Everyday Life Bible by Joyce Meyer. We have been taking an hour each night after Braeden is asleep to read our devotional and then some scripture from the bible. We have learned so much already, and the last week has been going great, we feel very strong which we haven't felt in a long time.

Some messages that really hit home were:
"Whoever wants to be first must first take last place and be the servant of everyone else." Mark 9:35

"Be an example to all in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity."
 1 Timothy 4:12

God gives us each opportunities, it is up to us to be open to see them, and take the opportunity to use them. So as I am writing this blog today in hopes that maybe someone else in similar shoes can maybe improve their relationship with God, themselves, or anyone else just by learning to be open to new beginnings.

I'm not saying life is going to suddenly be easier, today alone I found out Braeden has Pneumonia, and early signs of Asthma. My husband had an MRI from his vehicle accident in March and financially things now are slowly seeping back to poverty BUT I have a calmness about it all this time. So I am taking the opportunity I've been given to share what is helping me and my family.

With Love,
Me <3

Soul searching--

Tonight I had a quick glimpse at some self reflection. I feel like a lot of my road bumps have come because of my loss in faith. I see so many bad things happen to good people, I started to question my faith. Then bad things, and more bad things, and then even more bad things began to happen to my family. It has taken a while to understand that it isn't God punishing me, it's the devil trying to push me further away from God in blaming him. BUT-- 

Just like when others have doubted Jesus's worth, and when God put the children first which wasn't heard of during that time because children and women weren't of much importance, it showed that Jesus was able to make big moves in simple ways. We all try to be the best at what we want, but sometimes to make the biggest impression we need to step back and be less than best to see and appreciate things in life and I can definitely understand that. 

Calvin and I have fallen further and further apart and struggle to stay "in sync" but with the help of God, and some very dedicated friends we are working towards reconnecting with each other and our God. 

Go forth in this week, and don't be afraid to make a little splash in a big pond. ❤️

I hope my ramblings make sense to at least one person. ;) 

With love, 

Me

Power of Prayer

I sit here this morning looking at the one $7,000 bill we received from one of two ER trips we had for Braeden, not to mention the children's hospital overnight stay, ultrasounds, and his procedure, bloodwork etc. all of which I'm sure will add up to over $25k easy. 

I start to get overwhelmed, stressed, and wonder how could we ever afford to pay that? THEN I think about a sweet girl, daughter of a sweet couple I went to high school who has been battling leukemia for the last year and discovered two days ago it relapsed. I can't imagine the stress or overwhelmed feeling her parents must be going through with the difficult decisions they have to make now. Thinking about their situation makes mine seem not as stressful. 

So today I will take a step back, create a plan and pay what we can, when we can and go from there. I will pray and pray hard for Claire and her family because at the end of the day their little girl is such a strong little warrior and deserves to be able to grow up and enjoy life like so many other children get to experience. 

Please join me today in praying for Claire Parker❤️

Our new baby ❤️

Easter Sunday 2014 was especially exciting for my family, we were able to finally see family for the first Easter in years! We celebrated the Lord, with loved ones and we became parents to a precious baby girl. At only 9 weeks old she stole my heart. 

Her perfect fluffy coat, and instinctive love for me won me over. She was "supposed" to be an outside dog, however after doing some soul searching and research I needed her inside. So we brought her in after only two days and amazingly she is already house trained after only one week. God couldn't have blessed us with a better puppy. 

She loves Braeden, and he loves her! Every day, he runs downstairs looking for "Layla". He expresses to everyone she is his dog, however he doesn't realize she is his sister, and my baby aka dog. :) 

After struggling with depression for months, and having the help of medication... God knew what I really needed... I needed Layla. I needed the love of an animal, unconditional, and sincere. Someone who expects only the simple things in life and appreciates everything I do for her. From kisses, to snuggles, cuddles and special treats.. She warms my heart and I've only known her for a week. 

Some people will never understand how people can consider furry animals more than just a pet, but it's hard to put into words how happy she has made me. She isn't just our pet, she isn't just a dog, she is family, and mommy's little girl.  <3