Healthy, Happy Mom!

Since being a mom, I've learned that there are some crazies out there.. I'm sure I'll get blasted for saying that.. But what I mean is those moms that think they alone know everything about everything.. Usually the ones who similar to me have 1 child.. Versus like 10. Not that having 10 kids makes you a pro either, because every child is different. 

But here's my take, I am so SICK of moms beating each other up about how they feed their baby, diaper their baby, vaccinate their baby, deliver their baby, etc. Enough is enough! We are all moms, we all carry these babies until they are set to be delivered.. And pray that they along with us are healthy. 

Sure, every mom has preferences.. My preference with my first and second is to have a natural labor and delivery without medication.. I succeeded with my first, but you know what.. I was minutes away from a c section-- does that make me a bad mom? HELL NO.. There are moms who have c sections every day because either 1) they can't physically go naturally, or 2) they choose to have a c section. Either way.. Why is this your concern? 

If more moms spent half their time productively with their own children, and focusing on themselves... Then my theory is there would be fewer moms constantly feeling like failures because they don't fit the all hailed "crunchy" label. Which while I'm at it-- who said "crunchy" equals best? 

So how do I label myself? A happy, healthy mama... To a happy healthy toddler.. Granted this is only my second rodeo, but I firmly believe that each mother truly does what she believes is best for her child.. Some learn along the way they were right, some learn along the way they were wrong. Still no reason to be a mom bully. Someone said because I was a breastfeeding mom, and I made certain choices I was labeled crunchy too... I'm not. It's almost an insult, because some of the "crunchiest" moms are also the most judge mental, which is NOT cool. 

#1:  I don't use cloth diapers.  I've pondered the idea, but for me and my family.. Disposables work much better. (Am I a horrible mom for using disposable diapers? Nope)

#2.  I didn’t have a home birth. I am high risk, why on earth would I put myself or my baby in jeopardy? Granted I know several moms who had home births and loved it.. Great for them. ( Am I a horrible mother for delivering at the hospital? Nope)

#3.  I don’t wear my babies. Not like all day, everyday. I'm a firm believer that they need to crawl, and move. Granted if I'm going for a walk.. Sure, but currently I have a 43lb toddler, and am 22 weeks pregnant.. So that fixes that lol. (Am I not showing my child enough love or bonding because they aren't worn everyday all day? Nope)

#4.  My kids sleep in their own crib and bed.  Sure, the first 3 months our first was with us, in our bed and then in our room, it made our lifestyle easier since I was nursing. By 6 months old, he was in his own room and bed.. Still is. Does that mean I don't care, or I don't support their emotional needs? Nope, it's a choice. 

#5. We vaccinate on schedule. I know this one is really controversial, but I felt like it was right for our family based on the research we did.  We did miss the flu vaccine this year, which I'm not convinced that's a bad thing. There was one appointment I believe that I did split his shots up, because he was being introduced to a new shot and I wanted to see his reaction first. Since this one is super controversial, I'll just leave it at, it's still a choice. 

#6.   I wash my hair, use deodorant, wear make-up, and shave. There are chemicals in literally almost everything.. My personal preference is to continue my hygiene obviously reading labels carefully, but again.. Personal choice. 

#7. My toddler drinks cows milk. Whoa.. He also regularly eats dairy and is perfectly content with it. I grew up on a farm, and we drank cows milk, ate fruits and veggies from the garden and there weren't harmful chemicals or crazy people injecting animals with harmful hormones and everything else back then either. So I choose options without added hormones, and chemicals. This again is a choice.. It doesn't make me a bad mom. Some kids have dairy intolerances, so they can't.. Again it's all choices. Is the mom that only gives her kids soy milk and no dairy better than me? Nope.. Am I better than her, nope. 

#8. The way I discipline my child. This one is also super controversial, and I'm still learning. My child is very strong minded and he gets it honest. Yelling is the worst for him, he just yells. Most of the time I'm learning that a firm talking to at his level in a firm but gentle tone works better than anything. Giving him an opportunity to explain to me why he is angry, or acting out also helps. But you know.. If he gets too far out of line, he gets a time out, or even (heaven forbid) a spanking. Again, all personal choices. But I must be doing something right, because when we are out I constantly get compliments on how well-behaved, mannerable, and kind my two year old is. 

#9. My pantry isn't all organic. In fact, I very rarely have anything "organic" in my pantry. Growing up on a farm, organic is supposed to mean free of dyes, chemicals, parabens, gluten, and plenty of other hormones, etc. Well, not all organic food is truly organic, it's been proven over and over again.. So why pay 2-3x more money for something that isn't guaranteed to be better for you? My solution.. I read all my labels, I make the best economical choices that are healthy and fresh for my family. That does not necessarily equal organic. But again, I know there are moms who swear solely by organic foods.. More power to you- it's all a personal choice.

#10. My kid has sugar. Oh dear God.. Did I just say that? Yep, he had a cupcake for snack just the other day. Granted, his sugar intake is limited because we don't need him all jacked up like a crazy kid.. But on occasion he gets sugar, and fruit juice. Usually his juice is 90% water, and some juice but even if I wanted to give him a whole cup of juice.. It's my choice, my consequences.. But my choice. It's my belief that things are good in moderation, Lord knows I don't want my kid going to school and being "that kid" who is bargaining for an Oreo because he has never had the experience of eating one before. Again-- all choices. 

When it comes right down to it, I think labeling parenting (or lifestyles) is kind of rediculous.  We are all just trying to do our best for our children based on what we know. My choices aren't perfect in the eyes of everyone, but that doesn't matter to me.. I know I have a healthy baby in my belly, and a healthy toddler and that's what is important. 

To the moms who find yourself constantly chiming in on others.. Think about how that would make you feel? Being a mom is a hard job, but if you and your kids are happy and healthy.. Then who gives a crap; it's a hard enough job without having other moms constantly breathing down your back on how "THEY" think "YOU" should raise "YOUR" child. 

My intent for this post, was to be a reality check for all of us moms.. We should be boosting each other up, not tearing each other down. 

Be kind❤️

Disclaimer: this is not an attack on "crunchy moms" it's a fact that I have been bullied by moms, and have friends as well, it needs to stop. Calling yourself crunchy doesn't mean you are right, no different than me not calling myself crunchy makes me right. We all do what's best for our families, unless you're a serial killer.. In which case, there may not be any help on mothering. LOL 😜

Clean eating raw brownie bites »

Our Potty Training Journey-

So last Monday, we went to sign Braeden up for preschool which he will start in August. Well, to start preschool, he needs to be fully potty trained 😬 So I instantly start to stress, like oh my gosh-- how am I going to do this? I'm totally going to screw this up, what if my child just hates the potty, what if I'm not cut out for this.. Seriously I'm crazy, I know! 

Well, Tuesday I brought out the underwear... We had several accidents, I'm pretty positive pooping in his underwear was fun for him. I started the day by setting the timer.. Well all I did was piss him off. He was like seriously woman, I do not need to sit on the potty every 30 minutes. So after his nap, I decided to try a different approach... I would talk to him and ask him to remind mommy where we go pee pee and poo poo. He would excitedly say "the potty". We had fewer accidents Tuesday evening. 

Wednesday, we started fresh with excitement that he slept through the night and woke up dry! We were super proud! Wednesday came with about 3 accidents, but I was convinced it could be better.. So Thursday we bared it all. Little man was naked from the waist down... Not one single accident all day- AND he pooped on the potty all by himself! Friday- Sunday we did the 3 day method. 

This method requires you to essentially pause life for the three days and solely focus on potty training, and helping him understand when he needs to go. It requires an extreme amount of patience, because you truly don't know whether your kid is stalling from taking nap or he really does have to pee for the fifth time after going to bed, you know a dribble at a time 😜 And obviously the last thing you want to do is discourage him, so you go however many times he needs to the potty and hold his hand, clap for joy when he goes, and praise him consistently. The three day method also says you get rid of ALL diapers and pull-ups and only use underwear or naked. This for me created a slight anxiety.. What if he isn't ready, what if he has 10 million accidents.. Well we did it and miraculously there were zero accidents from Friday- Sunday! 

Last night, we had our first small accident, Braeden squirmed off the towels that I put in the bed in case of an accident and peed just enough to change the sheets. Well, at 2 am he woke me to inform me of this. He seemed heart broken, and we spent about 3 hours cuddling and consoling explaining that it was okay, accidents will happen, and he was still mommies big boy that I'm so proud of. Then about another hour to fall asleep. He did wake up then 3 hours later at his normal 7:45 time and was ready to roll.

Today we had our first outing, we were gone for about 2 hours and he told me literally within walking into the appointment he had to poop.. So we went and he did. We are waiting for our foldable travel potty seat to come, but until then he like his mom is NOT a fan of public toilets. 😜 

I'm not sure how many days he goes before he is classified as fully potty trained, but he hasn't had an accident since Wednesday, almost 7 days! I am completely blown away by HIM and how amazing he is doing. I prayed for God to make this process as less stressful as possible, and boy has he answered. 

I'm sure there will be plenty of accidents, and I'm not sure what tomorrow will hold, but I do know I have one amazing little boy that makes me appreciate life so much more with each day that passes. His quirky little facial expressions, sweet little comments, and generous hugs and kisses will melt my heart until the end of time. ❤️❤️ 

Until next time... 😊

 

Back on the grind..

After weeks upon weeks of feeling absolutely miserable with nausea, fatigue, dizziness, and just horrible exhaustion finally--- I am feeling more like myself at 17 weeks :)

I stayed super active when I was pregnant with Braeden, and I feel like that helped tremendously with the labor process and more. I ate healthy and was super cautious about things. This pregnancy so far has been so different and hard to maintain that same lifestyle. My first trimester all I wanted was fast food, that's about all I could keep down was to eat exactly what I had a taste for.. well now that I am feeling better I'm hoping to trim down my love handles and focus on being super healthy for this baby as well.

So many people use pregnancy as an excuse to eat all the food they want, over-eat and then those are typically the same people 15 years later claiming they still have baby-weight.. well I am bound and determined to not fall into that category especially because I know it's even harder to loose the weight after a second child.

I started this pregnancy about 10lbs heavier than I would have liked, but hey it's life and I've accepted it. So thankfully I've only gained about 5 lbs in these last 17 weeks. As long as I can maintain steady which with working out again I could even loose a little weight- I should potentially gain the same or less than I did with Braeden which I was able to loose fairly easily.

Overall I'm not going to stress about it, if I gain 30lbs or 50lbs as long as I know my baby is healthy I'm not too worried, but I plan on trying to do everything I can to maintain a healthy lifestyle and give this baby the same options I gave Braeden <3

Today I started by back to fitness journey with walking 3 miles at about 3.5 miles per hour the entire time which I was pretty happy with on my first day back. I will try and post as I can of how the journey is going and things I learn along the way :) 

4 days in..

Four days into the new year, and well Calvin and I have already had one therapy session and will have them every Thursday, we were able to take so much from just the first session it was amazing so we both look forward to what each new week holds. We have an amazing friend who will be watching Braeden for us to go each Thursday morning. ❤️

We also have 2 date nights outside the house, with a sitter for Braeden and our homework is to have a date night a week, inside or outside the house. Last night we put Braeden to bed early, and watched a movie together as our date. The first 4 days of this year have been great, so I look forward to each new day knowing that we have God with us and that as long as we both are keeping our heads in it, the possibilities are endless. 

Our therapist said the biggest mistake parents make is putting their kids first... This was a hard pill to swallow for me. But it makes sense, we need to put our marriage first to teach Braeden what true love looks like, to show him how he should treat a woman when he gets older, how his expectations should be from a woman... All these things we can "tell" our children but it's better to show them. She explained a healthy and strong marriage helps contribute to healthy and strong children. So while Braeden and Bryson will definitely be a top priority, we are working on putting ourselves first in order to be the best we can for each other and them. 

We also have been working on praying with Braeden, before meals, and just in general. It's been. Quite interesting so far, but practice makes perfect right? Lol

I am also thankful to have made it 17 weeks pregnant so far, and have finally hit a period where I have some energy and am able to keep food down.. How do I celebrate? By hitting the gym tomorrow of course! Lol. Super excited to get back in the gym and maintain healthy and fit while pregnant... Hoping it will help with another natural labor and delivery ❤️💙

As always, thanks for always being so supportive! See ya next time. :)