Life is crazy and beautiful at the same time right now. It's quite crazy having an infant and a toddler, trying to find the balance for the boys, my husband, my business, and myself has been quite a struggle. It's beautiful in that God gave me two wonderful boys I'm blessed with everyday, an amazing and understanding husband who supports me completely, a business that continues to grow and a life I most definitely love.
Now that I've acknowledged the blessings, I'll be super honest as I always am in my blogs, otherwise what's the point?
I hear all the time, "you've got two young boys? Oh your hands must be full." Well, my friends that is most definitely true. I struggle trying to find the balance, making sure I spend time with both boys equally, that I make time for Calvin, then there is my business which thanks to God and lots of prayers has taken off into new directions, but I've also put a lot of hard work, time, tears, and effort into it. Then there comes keeping the house clean, food to eat, oh and somewhere in there time for me....
What I need is more hours in the day, but then I would probably fill those up too. I need to prioritize better, and set boundaries for myself. But that is so much easier said or typed than executed. Today, I took the day off per say- no marketing, advertising, emailing, just playing with the boys. However, tomorrow I'll make up for it when groceries need to be bought, laundry washed, and emails responded to.
So I guess in the short sense, I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm busy being a mom, a wife, and chasing my dreams. I knew from an early age I loved taking people's pictures, and anyone that knows me knows I am always taking them. I have a million photos up in my house, and I don't miss a moment. I've found my niche and all the work I've put in is slowly but surely paying off. By the end of this year, I may have my own studio, with a business that I've built. I have so many ideas, my mind never shuts down- time slows me down, because I run into that balancing issue again.
But like any other wife,mom, and entrepreneur- it's a daily battle of balancing.. I know I'm not alone, I know some balance many more obstacles than I do, but I know at the end of it all.. It'll be worth it. The boys will know how much they are loved, because either Calvin or myself is always present. They are my top priority, which is why my business means so much to me too; I want to teach them that if they love something, go for it.. No matter how many people laugh, no matter how many people don't clap, if they put hard work, effort, prayer, and dedication it will pay off. About 60% of last year my business supported over 1/2 our lifestyle. That's something I'm pretty proud of.
Lately, my nerves have been super testy because of lack of sleep. Thankfully, I'm blessed with a husband who shares parental responsibilities, especially in the sleep category. Braeden, is going on 4 months now of waking at least once through the night to come cuddle and then only wanting daddy to lay with him to go back to sleep. Then there is Bryson, who is slowly getting back into his sleep habits- but he is still waking 1-2x a night to nurse or cuddle.
What pisses me off about the sleep part is people's ignorance. "That baby isn't sleeping through the night yet?" "He may be hungry." --- like really, shut up.
1) Braeden was like 15 months old before he fully slept through the night- that was with formula and breastfeeding, solids... He just didn't sleep. Bryson was sleeping 9p-5a... AMAZING! But as most moms of infants know, the first year is full of growth spurts, teething, development leaps... About the time you get a few nights good sleep, it seems something else is coming..2) Anyone who knows me knows Bryson doesn't miss a meal, he is perfectly healthy and definitely not starving 😉
I read all these blogs about how moms should help cheer each other on, versus being so damn judgmental, and trust me when I'm out and see a mom struggling with a trying toddler... I make sure to let her know her kid isn't the only one who turns into a stage 5 tornado in the middle of the store because they can't have every single toy they see or for whatever reason that seems fit for a toddler.
Parenting is hard work.. Thankful for a husband who helps me in the process, but my goodness can I get an amen on that "a mothers job is never done." My mind never shuts off.. Always something to do. So here's to all the moms out there doing their thing day to day.. Putting their kids first, their family first. Working hard to make a living, and someone finding a free second to sneak away and write this very blog. 😉
I've let go of all the things I "thought" I was supposed to be, I've found myself.. And as crazy and beautiful as it all is... It's real. I know time passes so quickly, so I try so hard to live in the moment. It's a daily battle.. But I'm trying. That's what matters, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment