Where I've been...

So recently I was asked by a friend, where I've been..why I don't text or call as much,and why I haven't been to moms night outs, etc. Well here's why.

Life is crazy and beautiful at the same time right now. It's quite crazy having an infant and a toddler, trying to find the balance for the boys, my husband, my business, and myself has been quite a struggle. It's beautiful in that God gave me two wonderful boys I'm blessed with everyday, an amazing and understanding husband who supports me completely, a business that continues to grow and a life I most definitely love. 

Now that I've acknowledged the blessings, I'll be super honest as I always am in my blogs, otherwise what's the point? 

I hear all the time, "you've got two young boys? Oh your hands must be full."  Well, my friends that is most definitely true. I struggle trying to find the balance, making sure I spend time with both boys equally, that I make time for Calvin, then there is my business which thanks to God and lots of prayers has taken off into new directions, but I've also put a lot of hard work, time, tears, and effort into it. Then there comes keeping the house clean, food to eat, oh and somewhere in there time for me.... 

 What I need is more hours in the day, but then I would probably fill those up too. I need to prioritize better, and set boundaries for myself. But that is so much easier said or typed than executed. Today, I took the day off per say- no marketing, advertising, emailing, just playing with the boys. However, tomorrow I'll make up for it when groceries need to be bought, laundry washed, and emails responded to. 

So I guess in the short sense, I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm busy being a mom, a wife, and chasing my dreams. I knew from an early age I loved taking people's pictures, and anyone that knows me knows I am always taking them. I have a million photos up in my house, and I don't miss a moment. I've found my niche and all the work I've put in is slowly but surely paying off. By the end of this year, I may have my own studio, with a business that I've built. I have so many ideas, my mind never shuts down- time slows me down, because I run into that balancing issue again. 

But like any other wife,mom, and entrepreneur- it's a daily battle of balancing.. I know I'm not alone, I know some balance many more obstacles than I do, but I know at the end of it all.. It'll be worth it. The boys will know how much they are loved, because either Calvin or myself is always present. They are my top priority, which is why my business means so much to me too; I want to teach them that if they love something, go for it.. No matter how many people laugh, no matter how many people don't clap, if they put hard work, effort, prayer, and dedication it will pay off. About 60% of last year my business supported over 1/2 our lifestyle. That's something I'm pretty proud of. 

Lately, my nerves have been super testy because of lack of sleep. Thankfully, I'm blessed with a husband who shares parental responsibilities, especially in the sleep category.  Braeden, is going on 4 months now of waking at least once through the night to come cuddle and then only wanting daddy to lay with him to go back to sleep. Then there is Bryson, who is slowly getting back into his sleep habits- but he is still waking 1-2x a night to nurse or cuddle. 

What pisses me off about the sleep part is people's ignorance. "That baby isn't sleeping through the night yet?" "He may be hungry." --- like really, shut up. 

1) Braeden was like 15 months old before he fully slept through the night- that was with formula and breastfeeding, solids... He just didn't sleep. Bryson was sleeping 9p-5a... AMAZING! But as most moms of infants know, the first year is full of growth spurts, teething, development leaps... About the time you get a few nights good sleep, it seems something else is coming..2) Anyone who knows me knows Bryson doesn't miss a meal, he is perfectly healthy and definitely not starving 😉

I read all these blogs about how moms should help cheer each other on, versus being so damn judgmental, and trust me when I'm out and see a mom struggling with a trying toddler... I make sure to let her know her kid isn't the only one who turns into a stage 5 tornado in the middle of the store because they can't have every single toy they see or for whatever reason that seems fit for a toddler. 

Parenting is hard work.. Thankful for a husband who helps me in the process, but my goodness can I get an amen on that "a mothers job is never done." My mind never shuts off.. Always something to do. So here's to all the moms out there doing their thing day to day.. Putting their kids first, their family first. Working hard to make a living, and someone finding a free second to sneak away and write this very blog. 😉

I've let go of all the things I "thought" I was supposed to be, I've found myself.. And as crazy and beautiful as it all is... It's real. I know time passes so quickly, so I try so hard to live in the moment. It's a daily battle.. But I'm trying. That's what matters, right? 

Everyday lessons... Life with a toddler❤️

So Braeden and I are at a doctors appointment, one of many for today as I decided to book them in one day to take care of everything before Bryson comes. 

Well he says he has to go pee, I said ok, hang on one second (which usually is fine) but he decided to run to the door and the nurse opened the door as if my two year old knew how to find the bathroom on his own. So I go after him and while going to get him another lady grabs him and attempts to hold him (she was trying to stop him from running) but Braeden swung at her and said very loudly "let go" "don't touch me" ----- and at the exact moment I almost explained to him we don't do that ..it hit me--- wait, YES I do want him to do that because what if we were out somewhere and he got away, I don't want him going willingly with a stranger. He isn't at the age to explain who the "good" strangers are and the ones who aren't. So I swallowed it and simply told the lady thanks for her help & quickly got him to the bathroom. (Which he really did have to go). 

Today was a learning experience for me, as a parent you want your child to be the best and most well behaved child... But in reality in his two year old mind he needed to go potty and this stranger had not only stopped his mission, but was holding him in a way he didn't like. In a situation if a stranger ever tried to take him from me-- I could only hope he would try to hit, scream, and everything else to let someone know it wasn't okay. 

Raising a strong minded and independent child isn't easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The fact that he knows what he wants and he goes for it is an important value. His actions sometimes need a little fine tuning, but I try hard to understand where it comes from versus just automatically telling him "no" or "don't do that".  He is an individual, and I want him to respect boundaries, and to be a polite little boy... But at the end of the day I still have to remember he is two and I'm damn proud of him. I'm proud of his vocabulary, his imagination, his love for others and animals, his memory, his intellect, his ability to learn, and his willingness to always try to make mommy happy. He may have some of the worst tantrums at times, the strongest attitude, and some mean looks-- but he is all mine and I wouldn't change a single thing about him. ❤️

Everyone has weak spots--- let's be honest.

So, if you follow me on Facebook, you already know this week was a tough one emotionally for me. If you've known me for a while, then you also know I've always struggled with self-confidence. I've never seen myself the way others see me. I can usually pick myself apart in a matter of seconds- it's a flaw that I just wake up each day and work on. I've never been that woman that has had an abundance of confidence- I think sometimes it comes off that way, because 9 times out of 10 I'm always positive which can mistaken for confidence. In reality- it's just my way of saying, I'm not going to let those negative thoughts control my day.

Well, being pregnant your hormones are all out of wack, things that wouldn't normally bother me sometimes do, I have been much more sensitive, and this pregnancy everyone and their sister has had an opinion about me-- which I've struggled with. I am human, and if you read my blogs you know I'm not afraid to admit my fears, my worries, my flaws, my struggles... because it's all part of what makes me, me.... it means I'm not perfect, I'm human... and I'm okay with that. Anyone who pretends like they live day to day constantly appreciative of every blessing they have, that they have this profound confidence in themselves at all times, and they never have any issues--- they are full of crap.. because it's just not possible.

I write my blogs mostly for me, it helps get things off my chest, because once it's written and done- it's off my mind and out of my system. BUT I know plenty of moms, women, and other people who struggle with things similar to me, which is why I'm always so open. If hearing my story can help make even one other woman say "at least it's not just me.." then my job is done.

So back to this week-- it started last weekend and just continued into the week.. the first few months of my pregnancy I stayed sick.. so my weight gain was very minimal and it technically still is. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and I've gained about 20lbs. Well, in the beginning all I heard was "you're too small?" "are you eating enough?" "are you sure you're pregnant?" THEN-- my belly finally popped and since then it's been "you're huge" "you've got a fat belly" "are you sure there is just one?" "you're carrying really wide" "are you sure you will make it til due date?" the list goes on and on...

I've literally heard these things all week, multiple times throughout the week-- and what hurts the most was it was from people who know me, know my insecurities, and know better. So needless to say this week was a flop- I finally broke down yesterday and shared how rough this week has been, and I was overwhelmed with how many people chimed in to boost my confidence, and make me feel better. It was exactly what I needed. I think some may have mistaken my flop of a week for me not appreciating being pregnant, or appreciating how blessed I am-- completely not true. Again, if you truly know me then you know I am beyond blessed and appreciative that I am pregnant and have had a healthy pregnancy thus far. BUT, again it falls back to realizing that I'm not perfect and every now and then people do get the best of me.

I think the hardest part has been that when I was pregnant with my first, I never experienced this part.. I worked in a corporate environment and was blessed with amazing co-workers who made me feel like a million dollars everyday.. so I was actually my most confident during my pregnancy and this go round it has almost been like people have been bitter- like I shouldn't be blessed to have two children.. so the best way to break me would be to get in my head and make me feel bad about myself. But those people should have never had any toll on me and yesterday helped remind me of that :)

I feel much more confident today than yesterday, I feel much more like myself and I'm great :) Will I have moments throughout the remainder of this pregnancy where I feel down? Most likely, but that's what friends are for to pick you up when you fall down. I have some great ones, yesterday I had women I haven't heard from in years, women I just met, women who I never even knew paid attention to me all chime in to help me, help me realize that I'm not seeing myself the way they are, help me realize that anyone trying to bring my spirits down, is already below me and they aren't worth my time. That I need to speak up more- put people in their place and in general love the skin I am in <3

Well, I most definitely will be doing all of that- and in the future I know who I can count on to pick me back up when I fall. I think as women we have to remind ourselves, falling down it normal... we just have to always get back up. I think a lot of people assume that when someone is pregnant or a new mom.. it is the perfect opportunity to solicit their unfiltered advice.. WRONG. Just because I'm growing a baby does not mean I need to know if you approve of how my body is shaped while carrying a baby, what I eat or drink, or anything else. I must say this week has made me much more aware, and I've been handing out compliments left and right to women I see- because you never know when they could be having a rough week and my kind words or yours may be all they need to pick themselves back up.

Always be kind, because you never know what type of battle someone is fighting <3

Life with a TWO year old

I've been working on this blog for some time now- I start, then stop, then start again. I read it and think, wow either I'm a horrible mom or my child is crazy. So I start all over again. The reality of course is neither are true. But I think from time to time as moms we need to be re-assured that we haven't completely lost our marbles, and that the way our child acts is not a direct correlation to the amount of love we show them.

Today would be that day for me-

Braeden woke up, and as soon as my first daycare kid was dropped off the tantrums started. He was angry because he normally gets to spend a little time with mommy and today he didn't. Well his fit lead into upsetting my daycare kiddo because she of course didn't understand that he was okay and was just throwing a fit, so for about 15 minutes I had both kiddos crying. One wanting reassurance that her mom hadn't just dropped her off in a crazy house, and one who just needed to get his anger/ frustration/ whatever emotion he was feeling out. Finally after singing, cuddling, and slightly ignoring my own child- it finally all ceased and our day could begin.

Our day went along great- we got in lots of learning, and then after nap-- he started again. We had to leave to go to my OB appointment and heaven forbid I turn off the T.V. so we could go. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue but today the world ended when I hit the power button. He screamed, threw things, and as I put him in time out as I've finally had enough and ignoring it isn't working, he finally calms.

I get him out of time out and put him in my lap, and we talk. I try to explain how mommy loves him and how he needs to use his words, then I slipped and said "you were a bad boy." I said when you throw things, yell and are mean it makes mommy very sad. He looked at me with such disappointment and said "I'm sorry mommy." "I not want to be bad." ------ Then the waterworks came. In that instant I realized, he had no idea that his tantrum wasn't okay, in his toddler mind he was acting out his emotions since he can't quite verbalize them the way he wants. But when I said "bad" he quickly caught on and I broke his heart, and in turn it broke mine. I held him so tight, and said "it's okay, let's listen and be a good boy for the rest of today, okay?" He excitedly said "okay, mommy!"

We went to my OB appointment, and before we even got out the car, I explained how we needed to listen to mommy and that if we didn't listen mommy would be sad. He held my hand, and listened throughout the majority of the appointment, and the few times he tested, I reminded him of our talk and he quickly began to listen again.

On the way home, we were stuck in traffic for what seemed like forever, and he again just randomly said "I'm sorry mommy, I don't want to be bad." And again, the waterworks started. I found myself questioning if I am a horrible mother, if I am screwing my child all up? Should I be more strict, less strict, discipline more, discipline less? Take things away, offer more solutions? Damn- this parenting stuff is hard.. and most people are super quick to tell you what you are doing wrong, or the classic "I would do x, or y." Newsflash-- every child is different and what may work for 1,000 kids may not work for mine. I'm fairly certain if it's been published, I've read it in regards to how to be the best mom I can be, and I still fall short.

I saw this when I was reading yet again about how to handle these tantrums and it made perfect sense. Most of what I read, I do. For example, I've learned to pick my battles, our therapist actually described it as being the "micro-managing boss type parent" or "the loving parent who welcomes their child".. clearly I wanted to second of the two, but I thought maybe he is acting out because I'm not a very strict parent. So I became more firm- and it got 10x worse. So then I backed off, and learned to pick my battles- meaning if I ask him to pick up his toys and he doesn't listen, I don't immediately discipline him.. I give him options. For example, when mommy finishes washing these dishes we need to pick up all the toys, etc. 

The hardest part for me, is obviously in public, which thankfully he rarely acts out in public. But there is nothing worse that the mom of the 10 month old or even the 18 month old that gives you the look, like "um, my child doesn't act like that.." ---I want to just laugh and say "give it time." 

I also constantly find myself trying to validate his behavior, like maybe I'm not spending enough time with him, away from him, or maybe I'm not doing this right or that... or the worst case I find myself wondering-- what on earth did I do to make my child this way? If he throws things and yells.. he must not feel loved, right?

Well apparently, according to multiple medical websites along with other stories I read in addition to kicking, screaming, or pounding the floor, your child may throw things, hit, and even hold his breath until he turns blue, which are all lovely NORMAL parts of these two year old tantrums. YAY!  

"When your child is swept up in a tantrum, he's unable to listen to reason, though he will respond – negatively – to your yelling or threatening. Stomping out of the room – tempting as that may be – can make your child feel abandoned. The storm of emotion he's feeling can be frightening to him, and he needs to know you're nearby. Rather than leave him thrashing on the floor, go to him. If he's not flailing too much, pick him up and hold him. Chances are he'll find your embrace comforting and will calm down more quickly." 

Well heck-- I do that, actually quite often Braeden and I have "time-ins" together where I just squeeze him and hold him til he stops and show him that no matter how angry or mad he gets, I'm not leaving, nor will I ever stop loving him. 

My point behind this ridiculously long blog--- I pride myself on working to be the best damn mom I can be, I read more books that you could imagine, I research everything when it comes to my child, and I also have a degree in Childhood Psychology and I STILL STRUGGLE- Days like today, I just needed a hug and someone to say "he is normal, and you are still a good mom." My OB actually was that saving grace today.. she gave me that hug and reassured me that even in his worst moments, my child is normal, and that I am a good mom. 

Parenting is hard as hell, and unfortunately there are no books, articles, or opinions that can fully prepare you for it. Every child is different, and as hard as it is to swallow sometimes no matter how perfect people make parenting seem, or how perfect they make their kids seem --- I am a firm believer that no child is absolutely perfect, or at least that's what I will keep telling myself for self-validation. (LOL) 

Advice- I have none, except that I am learning to except the fact that some days I win, and others I loose. Trying not to make one lost day control how I feel about myself as a mother or as a person. Best believe, when I am out in public or just working with my daycare moms- when they are are having a tough time, or if you see a mom struggling.. sometimes all they need is a hug, or a simple "it'll be okay." I know for me, just that reassurance I'm not totally screwing my child up gives me the "umph" I need to hit the restart button and try again. 

Make sure you spend less time judging, and more time being empathetic, compassionate, and loving--- because at some point in your life, I'm sure you will want another mother to comfort you; whether it be due to a tantrum spell, a rough transition to school, a trying teenager, or an adult child that won't leave home. As moms we all struggle, regardless of whether you choose to admit it or not.. my theory is hey, I try my best, do all the research, study everything I can-- and I still struggle. I constantly fear my child will grow up and not know how much I love him, how much I care for him, how much I try for him. And even though I know I make a million mistakes... I try to learn from them and become a better mom from them. 

My challenge to you-- this week, pay attention when you're out and about. If you see a mom who looks like she is struggling, remind her that it's okay. She is a wonderful mom and her child is perfectly normal. Give her a hug if you see fit, but most importantly lift her up-- because you just never know when your words could make someones' day. <3 

P.S. Never say your child is "bad"... take it from me, save the heart break, one of the millions of mistakes I've made that I will not make again- rest assured. 

This face may look "mean" and even adorable all in the same sense... but never bad. 

Another day in the life :)

So this past weekend, we visited Myrtle Beach for our annual Valentine's trip. This year is special because it is our last trip as a family of three :) It dawned on me today that Bryson will be here in 12-15 weeks, depending on if he comes early like his big brother did. This pregnancy has been tough, so with each week I count my blessings for making it one more week as well as being excited that we are also one more week closer to finally getting to meet this little angel child. :)

Our trip was very low-key, we mostly hung out either in the hotel, or by the beach. It was nice Friday, warm and beautiful Sunday, and cold and windy Sunday as we headed home. I must say, I was super nervous about this trip because 4 hours down, 4 hours back and a recently potty trained child made me a little on edge. But to my pleasant surprise Braeden did amazing! He didn't have one single accident the entire trip. Now, we had plenty of stops along the way to go potty, as he quickly caught on to "if I say I have to pee, I can get out of the car." ---Such a smart boy! But nonetheless I am one proud mama. He has been fully potty trained now for over a month and has made this process exceptionally easy for me; which any pregnant mom would be ever so thankful for!

This trip Calvin and I realized that we have become bored with Myrtle Beach, so in the coming years our annual Valentines trip will most likely be somewhere else. Not sure where we could go on the same budget, but we want to expand our travel area! I must say hearing Braeden wake up each morning rushing to the door to go see the ocean, and water just made my day.

To some, it looks a little odd that we make this trip each year, even on a struggling budget. My response to that is simple, this trip is our refresh/ restart. We go and come back feeling renewed, less stressed, and ready to rock out the new year. We plan for this trip each year usually in Oct./Nov and its something we look forward to each year. We have learned going from two incomes to one that our priorities are solely about experiences for our family. We aren't that family that spends hundreds on toys or junk that will be outgrown and most likely forgotten. We are the family that is willing to go without a lot of material things to stay close as a family and not miss all those important milestones and memories that you can never get back.

So now we plan for Bryson's arrival. :) His crib is together, sheets, blankets, and clothes are all washed and put in their proper place. We have a few big purchases left, and several little things but it will come in time. Last night it was so funny because I kept telling Calvin how incredibly uncomfortable I was, my back aches, and sleeping is nearly obsolete. Then I realized how little time we have left and it gave me a little reassurance that we are on the final stride and that I just have to keep moving, drinking water, and doing squats. (LOL) I will say it is definitely different being pregnant with a toddler, versus just being pregnant. I'm nervous and excited to take on being a mom of two versus one, even though I know it will be hard, I'm sure there are countless sleepless nights ahead, but I just pray about it each day. I pray for a smooth labor, and a healthy delivery for baby and me, and a smooth transition into parenthood of two children. That's about all I can do.

So aside from our trip, our potty training success, and preparing for Bryson.. life is pretty simple and low-key which I love. Until next time, here are some pictures from our trip! :)

Angry Mom --- Read at your own risk.

I've been putting this blog off for a while now- mainly due to not trying to cause controversy. But I can't refrain anymore. Having a newborn coming in less than 3.5 months- this issue is terrifying to say the least. What am I talking about-- vaccinations of course, particularly our recent measles outbreak.

Before I even start, let me preface with, I completely understand that their are parents who cannot vaccinate their children due to health reasons. For those parents, I sincerely empathize with you- here I am pregnant and worried about how to protect my child until he is old enough to have the vaccine and you have that constant worry on a daily basis without a hope in sight. I truly could never imagine.

I have done tons and tons of research prior to even thinking of writing this because I wanted to make sure I wasn't "just following the government hype" that I've heard a lot of "chosen anti-vaxers" say that in their defense. I say "chosen anti-vaxers" in that they willingly know the dangers of not vaccinating their children, and based on mostly reckless reasoning they allow their children to be liable to catch these diseases and spread them when outbreaks occur. I saw an interesting ecard the other day that really struck a nerve.

I know every mom tries to do their best, and my goodness parenting is hard. I've made plenty of mistakes and I know I'll make more- it's a learning experience. But I struggle with knowing that these "chosen anti-vaxers" do not protect their children from life threatening diseases and in turn, as an adult if they continue to not vaccinate- they travel abroad and then bring these once eradicated diseases back into our country for us to fight all over again. I firmly believe it's completely reckless. 

I am normally the one all for empowering other moms, empowering moms to work together, but this is one issue that I cannot seem to even remotely support. I've read articles upon articles supporting anti-vaccination trying to get a better understanding of why these parents would make these decisions and I still cannot make any sense of it. 

 “People without gray hair forget that before vaccines became available, measles used to kill approximately 400 children a year in this country,” -Dr. William Schaffner-

Yes, there have been deaths from the vaccine, due to other medical issues, but I just do not believe running around un-vaccinated is the solution. I think that further research should be done, help make these vaccines more available for all children and adults. Eliminate or replace some of the ingredients and make them capable of being used for all children. I guess my thought process is, instead of contributing to the problem based on things you do not like involving the vaccine- protect your children, and use that energy to help get further funding and testing to fix the problem. 

'The issue with this outbreak is not because of the vaccine, it's because of the lack of use of the vaccine.'

Normally I would never even take part in a debate like this, but when the decisions of other parents start to effect the life and safety of my children and family, then it becomes a issue I feel responsible to respond to. I know that I can safely voice my opinion in my blogs because after all, its not a Facebook post you are forced to read by being on your newsfeed. All I have to say from this point, until my son (Bryson, who will be joining the world in May/June; with God's grace) is fully vaccinated, I can only ask that if you choose not to vaccinate your children or yourself, please refrain from visiting our home. I cannot or will not take any chances when it comes to the safety of my children. 

I understand and take full responsibility for knowing that this post may cause some tension especially to those who willingly choose not to vaccinate, but in the same respect understand just as you reading this feeling threatened to defend your choices are not the only one, just as I am not the only pissed off parent that this issue is here solely because of the choices parents choosing not to vaccinate their children. Also understand that just as you have an opinion, this is mine. 

Looking forward to a more positive, less stressful post next time! This was something that has been eating at me and needing to be let out.  

Healthy, Happy Mom!

Since being a mom, I've learned that there are some crazies out there.. I'm sure I'll get blasted for saying that.. But what I mean is those moms that think they alone know everything about everything.. Usually the ones who similar to me have 1 child.. Versus like 10. Not that having 10 kids makes you a pro either, because every child is different. 

But here's my take, I am so SICK of moms beating each other up about how they feed their baby, diaper their baby, vaccinate their baby, deliver their baby, etc. Enough is enough! We are all moms, we all carry these babies until they are set to be delivered.. And pray that they along with us are healthy. 

Sure, every mom has preferences.. My preference with my first and second is to have a natural labor and delivery without medication.. I succeeded with my first, but you know what.. I was minutes away from a c section-- does that make me a bad mom? HELL NO.. There are moms who have c sections every day because either 1) they can't physically go naturally, or 2) they choose to have a c section. Either way.. Why is this your concern? 

If more moms spent half their time productively with their own children, and focusing on themselves... Then my theory is there would be fewer moms constantly feeling like failures because they don't fit the all hailed "crunchy" label. Which while I'm at it-- who said "crunchy" equals best? 

So how do I label myself? A happy, healthy mama... To a happy healthy toddler.. Granted this is only my second rodeo, but I firmly believe that each mother truly does what she believes is best for her child.. Some learn along the way they were right, some learn along the way they were wrong. Still no reason to be a mom bully. Someone said because I was a breastfeeding mom, and I made certain choices I was labeled crunchy too... I'm not. It's almost an insult, because some of the "crunchiest" moms are also the most judge mental, which is NOT cool. 

#1:  I don't use cloth diapers.  I've pondered the idea, but for me and my family.. Disposables work much better. (Am I a horrible mom for using disposable diapers? Nope)

#2.  I didn’t have a home birth. I am high risk, why on earth would I put myself or my baby in jeopardy? Granted I know several moms who had home births and loved it.. Great for them. ( Am I a horrible mother for delivering at the hospital? Nope)

#3.  I don’t wear my babies. Not like all day, everyday. I'm a firm believer that they need to crawl, and move. Granted if I'm going for a walk.. Sure, but currently I have a 43lb toddler, and am 22 weeks pregnant.. So that fixes that lol. (Am I not showing my child enough love or bonding because they aren't worn everyday all day? Nope)

#4.  My kids sleep in their own crib and bed.  Sure, the first 3 months our first was with us, in our bed and then in our room, it made our lifestyle easier since I was nursing. By 6 months old, he was in his own room and bed.. Still is. Does that mean I don't care, or I don't support their emotional needs? Nope, it's a choice. 

#5. We vaccinate on schedule. I know this one is really controversial, but I felt like it was right for our family based on the research we did.  We did miss the flu vaccine this year, which I'm not convinced that's a bad thing. There was one appointment I believe that I did split his shots up, because he was being introduced to a new shot and I wanted to see his reaction first. Since this one is super controversial, I'll just leave it at, it's still a choice. 

#6.   I wash my hair, use deodorant, wear make-up, and shave. There are chemicals in literally almost everything.. My personal preference is to continue my hygiene obviously reading labels carefully, but again.. Personal choice. 

#7. My toddler drinks cows milk. Whoa.. He also regularly eats dairy and is perfectly content with it. I grew up on a farm, and we drank cows milk, ate fruits and veggies from the garden and there weren't harmful chemicals or crazy people injecting animals with harmful hormones and everything else back then either. So I choose options without added hormones, and chemicals. This again is a choice.. It doesn't make me a bad mom. Some kids have dairy intolerances, so they can't.. Again it's all choices. Is the mom that only gives her kids soy milk and no dairy better than me? Nope.. Am I better than her, nope. 

#8. The way I discipline my child. This one is also super controversial, and I'm still learning. My child is very strong minded and he gets it honest. Yelling is the worst for him, he just yells. Most of the time I'm learning that a firm talking to at his level in a firm but gentle tone works better than anything. Giving him an opportunity to explain to me why he is angry, or acting out also helps. But you know.. If he gets too far out of line, he gets a time out, or even (heaven forbid) a spanking. Again, all personal choices. But I must be doing something right, because when we are out I constantly get compliments on how well-behaved, mannerable, and kind my two year old is. 

#9. My pantry isn't all organic. In fact, I very rarely have anything "organic" in my pantry. Growing up on a farm, organic is supposed to mean free of dyes, chemicals, parabens, gluten, and plenty of other hormones, etc. Well, not all organic food is truly organic, it's been proven over and over again.. So why pay 2-3x more money for something that isn't guaranteed to be better for you? My solution.. I read all my labels, I make the best economical choices that are healthy and fresh for my family. That does not necessarily equal organic. But again, I know there are moms who swear solely by organic foods.. More power to you- it's all a personal choice.

#10. My kid has sugar. Oh dear God.. Did I just say that? Yep, he had a cupcake for snack just the other day. Granted, his sugar intake is limited because we don't need him all jacked up like a crazy kid.. But on occasion he gets sugar, and fruit juice. Usually his juice is 90% water, and some juice but even if I wanted to give him a whole cup of juice.. It's my choice, my consequences.. But my choice. It's my belief that things are good in moderation, Lord knows I don't want my kid going to school and being "that kid" who is bargaining for an Oreo because he has never had the experience of eating one before. Again-- all choices. 

When it comes right down to it, I think labeling parenting (or lifestyles) is kind of rediculous.  We are all just trying to do our best for our children based on what we know. My choices aren't perfect in the eyes of everyone, but that doesn't matter to me.. I know I have a healthy baby in my belly, and a healthy toddler and that's what is important. 

To the moms who find yourself constantly chiming in on others.. Think about how that would make you feel? Being a mom is a hard job, but if you and your kids are happy and healthy.. Then who gives a crap; it's a hard enough job without having other moms constantly breathing down your back on how "THEY" think "YOU" should raise "YOUR" child. 

My intent for this post, was to be a reality check for all of us moms.. We should be boosting each other up, not tearing each other down. 

Be kind❤️

Disclaimer: this is not an attack on "crunchy moms" it's a fact that I have been bullied by moms, and have friends as well, it needs to stop. Calling yourself crunchy doesn't mean you are right, no different than me not calling myself crunchy makes me right. We all do what's best for our families, unless you're a serial killer.. In which case, there may not be any help on mothering. LOL 😜

Clean eating raw brownie bites »