Taking a breath-

Every new year we all make resolutions that we usually don't keep. For whatever reason, we give up, loose interest or fail to follow through. Well, this year I'm only making one resolution and that is to take time and enjoy life to the best I possibly can with the ones who love me most. For me that means many things- being honest with myself and knowing when to ask for help, knowing when to tell people "no", knowing when to close the door and focus on my family, knowing when to focus on myself.

This year I spent far too much time focusing on all the details for other, focusing on putting in the extra mile for people who probably didn't even appreciate the effort. So in the new year it may seem cold to some, but I have to make some adjustments and my family nor myself will no longer be on the back-burner. I have to remind myself that it is okay to be completely lazy some days and just let Braeden take the wheel. I also have to remind myself that some days I will fail, and others I will win.

The hardest part will be to remind myself that somewhere in there- I am a good person, a good wife, and a good mother and that I will never be perfect at anything. (This is the part I asked Calvin to help me with, because I know I'll struggle.)

Calvin has jumped on board in the last few weeks and has genuinely been trying to be supportive and understanding. He has listened, hugged, and supported me in ways I never expected; not sure what clicked but definitely not complaining. I've always been thankful for my husband and Braeden, and I definitely have plenty to be thankful for, but the thing about struggling with depression is that it clouds your view, so now most days I see clearly but I still have cloudy ones. My hope is that in the new year, I have fewer and fewer cloudy days until hopefully they are all gone and I can finally be myself again.

My little GQ <3 

Precious Moments <3 

Such a sweet boy!

My foundation 

If not- then I pray God will give me the strength to accept this as part of me, to find a way to not see it as a weakness and to help support my husband and son through the journey as this isn't easy on any of us.

So for 2014, I look forward with fear and excitement to close one door and open another. May all your resolutions become reality and may 2014 be better than you imagine; just remember to take a breath to enjoy it <3