76 in December-

Following up from my last post- I did have my follow up appointment with my OB. 

Long story short: 

2007- I had, was treated for, and am about 90% free of cervical cancer. 

2009- I had 2 surgeries to fix my uterus, because I found out I had a bicorniated uterus meaning it was heart shaped and would not allow me to carry a baby. 

2010- My husband and I conceived for the first time, were about 14 weeks alon and found out we had an ectopic pregnancy meaning the baby was in my tubes and there was no safe way to have the baby so I had surgery and underwent chemotherapy to essentially "abort" the baby. It was a very dark time in my life- I almost committed suicide; a few times. 

2012- We finally conceived and had a healthy pregnancy with our handsome and smart miracle baby boy Braeden. 

I was a high risk pregnancy and was on bed rest a month and a half before he was born. 

2013- We decide to try again and realized we weren't getting pregnant after about 6 months of trying so when I went for my yearly exam I was told that I had too much scar tissue surrounding my Fallopian tubes, on my ovaries, and uterus. I had a solid chocolate cyst which my doctor was about 95% sure was endometriosis. I also had a normal cyst that was likely to rupture on it's own. Our plan was to wait 6 weeks and follow up, if it was still there we would schedule surgery and go from there. Which surgery would essentially mean no more babies. Which kind of broke the straw for this battle with depression. 

Well- I guess it being 76 on the first day of winter and in December only means one thing... Somehow both my cysts ruptured and are gone; meaning no surgery! I was in the floor in pain a few weeks ago and thought my stomach was just tore up because I had cheated and ate fast good- apparently the pain I was experiencing was my cyst rupturing; no bueno. 

So today- 12/21/2013 I am very thankful for the news. 

In my last blog I shared some struggles my husband and I have faced, I normally never do. However I've come to the conclusion that REAL people read this- so why not be REAL with them. 

So here is what's real-

*I am struggling with depression but taking it day by day- and with each day I feel a little stronger. 

*I have been married to the love of my life for 5 years and we have been together since 2006. We fight, we make up, we get on each other's nerves, sometimes I hate him, most times I love him ;) But the bottom line is we are REAL and we bust our ass to make the most of our marriage. Some days we lose; some we win. Deal with it ❤️

*I struggle with self-worth and I am a huge people pleaser; I bend over backwards for everyone and usually never even get noticed. (Disclosure: this will be changing 2014; my promise to myself)

*I am on a mission to find the strong, confident, and determined woman I once was and I will find her, I will be the best me, the best wife, and the best mom I can be. 

So for those who read this- know that yes sometimes I will post about issues because they are real issues. When I say life is perfect; in my eyes it is. I don't need to pretend, I also won't pretend anymore I'm happy if I'm not. 

This blog is for me and to hose who love me, support me, and care. It will get personal, sometimes mean, sad, and other times super happy. Those are all emotions I face so if you follow I appreciate you ❤️ 

Here's to new beginnings, closing old chapters, opening new ones and hell- 76 degree weather in December ☀️